You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
