drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize
