yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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