There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
