Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
