12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize