Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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