yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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