I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
