Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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