this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
