Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Acid is not a monday night drug
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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