either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Dear god my vagina.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
