did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
