Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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