did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
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