I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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