Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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