Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
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