your parents love me but you hate me
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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