there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
