I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
