she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
