He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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