Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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