It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
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