hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
