why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
