weddingsv make me drug and hornr
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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