at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
