I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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