ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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