i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
