I seem to have left my pride at pride
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
