How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
