Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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