Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
