Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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