im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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