Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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