I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
