apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
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