I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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