i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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