We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
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