Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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