Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
This baby is an asshole
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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