You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
