don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Randomize
