I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
