sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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