I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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