we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
