covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
