i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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